I don't have a carbon footprint. We'll never post to Facebook without your permission We will access Facebook to get and use your email address, friend list, interests, likes and public profile, which includes your name, profile picture, user ID, age range, gender, networks, language, country and your other public info. I have a joke about trickle down economics. I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face. "Give me the good news first," the patient said. The friskiest, furriest, and funniest cat jokes you'll find on the internet! Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you.
I'll never forget my Granddad's last words to me just before he died. What's yellow and can't swim? Reporting on what you care about. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

Live smarter, look better,​ and live your life to the absolute fullest. Best funny jokes collection. "I can help. Best funny jokes collection #Humor. But 99% of you will never get it.

Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them. I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.


(h/t to this, this, and this Reddit thread.).

They don't know where home is. But sometimes, it's the simple, to-the-point one-liners that are funniest.

Doesn’t fill me with confidence.

Good news for terminal cancer patients… Clocks go back this weekend so that’s an extra hour. Funny Dark Jokes I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. "Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?" Get a laugh at the best (or, rather, worst) one-liners that humanity can think up. I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.

Shutterstock / R. Mackay Photography / Via. Top 50 Funniest Memes Collection. Sign up for the BuzzFeed Today newsletter and you’ll get our hottest stories in your inbox every morning.

I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My grief counselor died the other day. ", When ordering food at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how they prepare their chicken. How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins.

Most Funniest Jokes and Funny pictures of the week. Because if you can see the humor in even the bleakest parts of life, and you can laugh at truly dark jokes, you're less likely to take the world too seriously. He's all right now! The patient panicked. Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. "Usually an overdose, son," I told him. My ex got hit by a bus.

14,000 people in 45 countries can't be wrong. Here are most funniest and best memes collection that surely leave you laughing for a while, i hope it will make up your day. “Why is your willy much longer and fatter than mine?”.

I have a fish that can breakdance! Well, If I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes. The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.

Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens? Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend."

Not to mention, short jokes are easier to remember.

So two snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... A magician was driving down the street... What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? Tried jogging but I keep running into restaurants. What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon?

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